Like a horse refusing to go into her stall, legs locked leaning against the halter and lead, I have stayed away from my home computer and this blog since we arrived in Flagstaff. I don't want to our trip to end, and yet it has. There needs to be some closure, but I have been trying to extend this walk from the freedom of the pasture to the 4 walls of the stall. It feels something like an identity crisis - as if, when the door closes that person who spent the last 2 months trotting across the country, will cease to exist. Not true, I know - but this is where my reluctance is rooted. On a table in the garage sits our list - the checklist of everything we needed to pack. I can't bear to move it - seeing it brings back the excitement of preparing for the trip, and makes me nostalgic at the same time. (Writing this I understand that leaving it there is a bit of self-torture.) Some days our trip feels like it transpired in a dream...did we really ride across the country? And other days, especially riding my bike to work, I can be transported instantly to a soybean field in Nebraska, or the top of a mountain pass - which feels like magic!
In an effort to keep that feeling alive, Mike and I rode our bikes up to the Grand Canyon last weekend and stayed overnight at Susan and Gary's house. It was a beautiful fall weekend - aspen and scrub oak leaves making a chromatic turn for winter.
I think it also helped me turn a corner away from, what I've been calling, my post-pedalum depression. (My PPD is somewhat annoying really - evidently all sorts of people go through this poor-me phase upon returning from their adventures.)
One way to make moving into the 4-walled stall more bearable is to bring along the blog. I enjoyed writing on the trip, so why not continue - especially since it seems that I've finally gotten over my unwillingness to close the trip blog. Time to start something new: http://bonnieodonnell.wordpress.com/
Elk at the Grand Canyon and next door to Susan's house.
